Duh Thoughts

There's something about being young that makes very obvious statements seem like blinding insights into the true nature of the universe. I call these insights 'Duh' thoughts.

For example: On Friday I pulled a rib in my back (somehow, don't ask me how, it makes no sense). I was initially proud of how I handled it. No panicking or running to the emergency room or even whimpering very loudly.

But as I slogged through the day, counting time at my job (my wonderful perfect job) by slow, agonizing 15 minute increments until I could go out and buy a bunch of instant cold packs, some m&ms, and most of all stop pretending to be professional, I had a deep, amazing insight:

Being in constant pain is exhausting.

I never really knew that, but as soon as the thought registered, I realized that not only was it the deepest, truest thought I'd had all week, it was also blindingly obvious.

I mean, it's not like being in pain is going to make you want to sing and dance with the elves. Hello.

Yesterday I had another obvious insight.

After my appointment with the chiropractor, as I laid on the massage table (an amazing invention that I will insist on being installed in the spaceship before I agree to be sent as a representative of the human race to distant galaxies) and began to relax, I felt the pain lift and as it lifted, I realized that I could think.

And that I couldn't think very well before then.

Therefore: pain makes you stupid. QED. (This is something that I sort of knew before from a scientific study showing that pain causes blood to flow more slowly to the brain in women and more quickly in men. The conclusion of the study is that women have higher endurance because they literally 'feel' less of the pain the more of it there is (admittedly sacrificing higher functions for this endurance) while men get faster and smarter when they're in pain (up to the point they collapse). This is just a paraphrase of something I read several years ago, so don't take my word for it if you're really interested - look it up for yourself.)

The moral is that when you're young, (or maybe this will be a lifelong condition- since I haven't lived long enough to be anything but young I don't know yet), it's very hard to have an insight that isn't already old news to everyone else. But even duh thoughts feel nice and new the first time you figure them out on your own.